Practices for Peace

We want a baby. Instead, we find ourselves on an unexpected journey. It’s not that it’s just different than expected. It’s been one of the hardest pathways to accept and adjust to. My husband and I still sit back, and though it’s our reality, we almost can’t imagine that we’re in our mid 30’s with no children here on earth yet. Two years of infertility. Another year of three miscarriages. And here we are. We have not lost hope. But our hope and faith does not make the journey any less difficult, hard, or painful. Sometimes it feels unbearable. Unfair. We have both always wanted four children. Neither one of us want to be old parents. The clock is taunting. We know God is in control and has our future perfectly mapped out to His perfect plans and perfect timing. But when our desires and timing preferences don’t seem to quite line up with His will, it can feel crushing and emotionally chaotic.

We all have moments where we feel weak, confused, crushed, scared, and emotionally undone. It does not mean we are bad Christians. It simply means we are human. 

This is a sort of sequel or continuation of my last blog post, Battling Worry. If you didn’t read it, you can do so here, but the key takeaway was this: the most effective weapon in battling worry is meditating on God’s character and your identity in Him. When we have an accurate view of both of these things, we are able to humble ourselves, trust Him, and hand our worries over to Him. If we don’t believe in God’s character or our identity in Him, then we won’t fully trust Him. If we aren’t fully trusting Him, there is no way we are going to give our worries, or any of the hard emotions, to Him. We’re going to try to hold onto them, hold it together ourselves, and all this does is compound worry and anxiety, and keeps us stuck and far from peace. But believing God’s character and promises are true changes everything. It is foundational to finding freedom in Christ, enduring the race (and the waiting room), and journeying with peace no matter what is going on in your world.

“Believing God’s character and promises are true is foundational to finding freedom in Christ, enduring the race, and journeying with peace, no matter what is going on in your world.”

This is where I am going to get real practical because we all love a good to-do list. I want to break this down into some simple practices I have found helpful over the years to keep God’s character loudest in my mind. 

1. Remembering His Faithfulness.
   It is encouraging when we remember what God has done for us in the past. If he did it then, He will do it again. My first marriage was heartbreaking. I felt betrayed and trampled. But God, in His loving faithfulness, freed me, rescued me, and healed me. I know I don’t need to worry about anything because I know from past experience that He takes care of everything.

2. Gratitude Journal.
   Focusing on the blessings in your life helps re-affirm your belief that God is good and He is taking care of you. It positions your heart in the proper place to bring your requests to Him, and receive His peace. I’ll admit I started my gratitude journal with the wrong motive. I thought if I wrote down three things I was thankful for each day, then maybe God will answer my prayer for a baby. But God doesn’t work that way. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” [emphasis mine] That verse doesn’t say gratitude is the key to getting what you want, but rather a key to His peace.

3. Guided Scripture Meditation.
   When worry and anxiety are flying at me from all directions, I love turning to the Pause App by John Eldredge. It has various biblical meditation options that helps guide you through the process of resting in Jesus and handing all your worries and anxieties over to Him. There are 1 minute, 3 minute, 5 minute, and 10 minute options depending on how much time you have. When I was going through my divorce, I carried all the stress and anxiety in my neck and shoulders. After many trips to the massage therapist, I ended up getting an x-ray because the pain would not relent. It turned out that nothing was physically wrong. I began using this app to help me release the stress, pain, and anxiety, and my neck pain also released. 

4. Listening to Worship Music.
   There are a lot of good worship songs out there. Listen to ones that help you focus on His Character. I know hymns might feel old school, but the lyrics are rich and God-focused. After our first ultrasound appointment with our first pregnancy where there was no heartbeat and the doctor told us to prepare for loss, I came home and turned on “It Is Well,” and through my tears, I let the words sink into my soul. “Great is Your Faithfulness” is another one I kept on repeat. These lyrics infused strength, hope, and peace into my whole being. 

5. Reading the Word.
   There are 66 books in the Bible and a variety of styles of writing, like history, poetry, and prophecy. But there is a common thread through it all: God’s love for His people. God caring for and protecting His people. God using all things for the good of those who love Him. Reading the Bible is the single best way to get to know God and His Character. 

6. Reading Devotionals.
   One of my favorites is Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. It is short and rich. A.K.A. Powerful daily fuel even for the busiest of women. As my friend Marissa Jon once said, “Jesus Calling devotionals can feel like a balm for the soul,” and I completely agree. 

7. Getting Outside
   Getting outside in His creation places us in a setting where we can appreciate His Creation and stand in awe of Him as the Creator. Even if this just means standing in the yard for a few minutes to get some fresh air and appreciate any grass, trees, plants, birds, clouds, or anything else you notice in His creation. If He is holding the whole world together then He is trustworthy to hold our individuals worlds. It’s actually proven that doing this resets your nervous system allowing your body to reenter a state of peace and calm when it’s been freaking out.

8. Exercise
   This is helpful any time for overall well being, however, I’ve found it particularly effective when emotions like frustration or anger are at the forefront. This doesn’t have to be intense. Even a walk can do wonders and be great therapy. Exercise strengthens us not only physically, but also emotionally and mentally. 

Are there more practices to add to this list? Of course. Do anything that keeps your mind on Him and His Goodness. Paul says, “Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—dwell on these things. Do what you have learned and received and heard from me, and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.” —Philippians 4:8-9.

“Do anything that keeps your mind on Him and His Goodness.”

When we are engaging in good things and dwelling on good things, we are celebrating His character. The more we engage in these practices, the more we get to know Him, the more we believe Him. When we believe Him, we can trust Him. When we trust Him, we can journey with peace. Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!”

“When we trust Him, we can journey with peace.”

This isn’t like learning how to ride a bike where you learn it once then you’re good. It’s more like fitness. To build and maintain physical fitness, we must regularly exercise.

That is why I called these practices. Oxford Dictionary defines practices this way: “perform (an activity) or exercise (a skill) repeatedly or regularly in order to improve or maintain one's proficiency." Practices create habits. The stronger these habits are, the easier it is for us to draw strength and peace from Him, even in our weakest moments. 

So ladies, let’s practice. When we feel strong, let’s practice. When we feel weak, keep practicing. Whether we are enduring confusion and hurt, or experiencing understanding and miracles, let’s practice. Practicing will not get us to perfection on this side of heaven. It will not make our problems suddenly go away, nor does it mean things will go our way. But it will make us stronger and and infuse us with His peace.